According to eyewitness reports, the crane on the corner of Church St. and South University has been fully operational and in motion from time to time over the past few days.
For what had been several months, the crane’s stationary position had been puzzling many, from students to faculty alike. LSA sophomore Keaton Grammaticus reportedly caught the machine in action on Friday, “carrying materials from one place to another.”
“It was wild,” said Grammaticus. “It was like watching one of those nature documentaries where a family of bears comes out of an eight-month hibernation.”
Grammaticus was not the only one captivated after seeing the crane in motion this weekend. Engineering Professor Ron Sonderman was reportedly 45 minutes late to class after he spotted the crane putting metal beams in place.
“I’ve always thought these things were theoretical,” Sonderman said. “In fact, most of my slide decks have pictures of cranes just for fun—sort of a unicorn-like image if you will.”
The moving crane garnered attention from figures campus-wide, including University President Santa Ono, who resides just a few blocks from the site of the active machinery.
“Whoa, look at that crane go!” reportedly shouted Ono, on his morning walk to Pancheros.
Published in the March 2023 edition of The Every Three Weekly
Dan Gutenberg 