Bystanders were baffled after seeing area woman Lesley Boone slowly running at a pace just ambiguous enough to qualify as either exercise or an effort to get somewhere on time.
According to witnesses, Boone’s outfit only added to the confusion. “If you thought her pace was confusing, you should’ve seen what she was wearing,” said LSA junior Tobias Marinara, who was on the scene at the time of Boone’s appearance. “Athleisure is getting out of control.”
When contacted for clarification, Boone reported not having time to throw on “anything else besides sweatpants,” hurrying away before explaining her destination.
Another sidewalk-walker had trouble deciphering what was happening because of Boone’s “start-and-stop technique.” “She would sorta run for a block, and then she would stop and check her watch,” said engineering freshman Trea Farmington. “Then she would start running again before ultimately stopping to check her heart rate.”
On top of the running technique and confusing outerwear, Boone’s breathing
pattern proved equally perplexing for passersby. “She was huffing and puffing,” said Marinara. “But there was no way to tell if it was because of a workout or stress from just running late.”
Boone was last seen running directly in the direction of the Academic Affairs and/or Intramural Sports Buildings.
Published in the Feb. 2023 edition of The Every Three Weekly
Dan Gutenberg 